Tuesday, July 5, 2016

A Leap of Faith and a New Job

I've been working in the corporate world half my life, until I didn't.  I worked my way through college, taking a year off between my junior and senior year to have a munchkin.  I was loyal to a firm for many years, before jumping ship in search of something more.  The place I landed could potentially qualify as the eight circle of hell, a place that I stayed out on account of "supporting the family" for nearly three years. It broke me, and that says a lot.  Mommy guilt escalated to a whole new level, depression took hold of my life, my husband was not exactly thrilled with our life ..... it was changing everything.  And all for what?  Money.  A salary that didn't end up solving any problems, instead it masked them.  Instead of taking that glorious money and paying down debt, dining out became the norm, exhausted from the week, spending was a band-aid.  In an environment where money is thrown at you to sacrifice your values, abandon your family and where desperation for something better, for something more makes those decisions seem worth it, I endured.  Occasionally, my team would find me in the same clothes as I had worn the day before, because I never went home.  For three long years - until I didn't.

I decided to start looking for another job, but put it off until we returned from vacation.  But before we left, a friend sent me a link to a position that had become available at a non-profit that I am an active volunteer with.  And I applied.  And I interviewed.  And I presented.  And I interviewed again.  And then the day came that I was offered the job, with a catch.  A 20% cut in pay.  If someone would have told me up front that my salary would be cut by tens of thousands of dollars, I would have politely declined and been on my way.  But it didn't happen that way.  I'd already fallen in love with the culture, the job, the benefits and most importantly, the prospect of being a mom again and a wife and having a life. 

So I took a leap of faith.

And the horribly difficult pay cut that comes with that. Suddenly, even with an insanely tight budget most months, we make it.  I don't know how - but we do.  And eventually, we'll make progress on our plan.  In the meantime, I got my life back. I get Fridays off during the summer to spend with our kiddo.  I get to cook more, which is having a very unpleasant impact on my waistline....and thighs....and clothing options.  We're adjusting our standards, taking new adventures and finding new ways to make it.  And we will.